flowers mean forgiveness

i am so annoyed with myself right now. i rarely ever regret things because i think its a stupid emotion. you can never tell what would've happened if whatever you regretted hadn't happened. but this morning, and all of last night, i was very sorry. let me explain:

yesterday morning at 8am, i went to get a deep tissue massage. i've been having some back aches and i want to make sure that i dont get a bad back, so i have been trying to have at least one massage a month to relax my muscles. it was a very very tough massage. i felt good afterwards, but during it, it was quite painful. i went to work, which is not ideal (to sit in a chair for 10 hours after lengthening the muscles), but it had to be done. after a massage, they tell you to drink lots and lots of water because your body can become dehydrated because of all the toxins released. i tried to do that at work, but only had one big thing of water during the day. i was excited to leave work early and head home to watch tv and pack (i'm leaving for work today) and just relax. but nooooo. i got talked in to going out with people from work to thank this group that helped out my client a few weeks back. we've been talking about the fact that many people in our company don't like my group, or don't understand what we do, or think we're showy or ultra-important or things like that. so, as a group, we've been trying to change that perception and it seemed appropriate that i should go out with everyone to thank them for doing such a good job. that, and, i have a corporate credit card. so i go. and this is the part i regret: i had less than 3 glasses of wine, but i should not have had any. i completely forgot that i had had a massage that morning and had some wine. and it hit me on. my. ass. i didn't even realize it until it was too late. and 3 glasses of wine NEVER hits me. it would hardly make me tipsy normally. so i took a cab home and was VERY tipsy. i think i called my parents and told them i was drunk. i went home to pack and really really wanted indian food, so i asked my roommate if we could go when he got home from class. he seemed really excited for it, so i made him a drink he could have when he got home.

however, i was not feeling well. its not as if i was hung over. it was as if i was having an out-of-body feeling. i can't even describe it, but my whole body was unhappy. its as if i poured poison on to an open wound. or something. it was horrible. i kept waiting for my roommate to come home, but i just felt so ILL. he got home and wasn't ready to go right away and i fell asleep and i could not get out of bed. i was immobilized. i feel bad about not going, but that probably wouldn't have made anything better. i should've never had any alcohol after having a deep-tissue massage. and after i did, i should've drank tons and tons of water and gone to bed immediately. ugh.

this morning i don't feel hungover, but i feel very drained and empty. its a bizarre feeling. i don't like it. AND i paid all that money for a really good massage and just blew it all away. its like spending money on fat camp and then coming home right away and eating all your halloween candy. its a waste of your time and effort. my skin feels tingly and i feel really short. this isn't normal. i am not pleased. AND to top it all off, its 7am and i STILL have to pack for my trip for which i leave in 7 hours. crap.

[song by good ol' blue eyes because i need to give my body some flowers right now]

dream apartment - 47

i'm not really sure where to post this picture. i don't think i'd ACTUALLY want an apartment this colorful, but i love love LOVE love the colors in this picture. and if you click through this link you'll see tons of other views - its sooo pretty! it also makes me very happy. one of the colors is called fire and ice. i love it. except i'm not sure if thats the pink, purple or blue. i still love it. what do you think? what color would your dream apartment be?

things that are making me happy

i'm the first to admit that most animals kind of gross me out. i think they're dirty and they poop wherever they want (i'd prefer if they used a toilet) and they smell and don't shower often... so i just prefer to stay away. i don't mind looking at PICTURES of animals and i can tell when they're cute and whatnot, but overall, i stay away. however, this video that i saw on jezebel is super super cute.



i think otters would maybe be ok animals and they're fun to watch swim.

the rain

so just a quick post because i am dead tired and want to go to bed. i'm beat. had a fun day with my friend gidget in town today. i'm going to write about it later because it was a pretty interesting end to the weekend. since she left around 6pm, i did some stuff online and then sat on my bed to stretch my back and promptly fell asleep. i'm up now watching dexter - LOVE whatshisface from eli stone. its finally getting good for the season. its been a slow buildup.

anyway, thought i'd put this picture up here because its very pretty and i'm living vicariously through my little brother. this is where he is right now. it makes me want to go back to mexico. or the caribbean. and i really didnt think i would think that. tropical beaches aren't really my thing, but looking at this i'm thinking maybe they are.

it's raining. a lot. and its meant to rain for 2 more days, which is not good. i have a ton of packages i need to mail and i have no desire to drag them out in the rain. i guess i won't mail them until wed morning or so...

oh, also. i got a flu shot on fri and i have this big red welt on my upper arm and its sore and swollen. is that normal 2 days later?

basket case

stupid internets. stupid small worded disclosures. "video stream will not include audio commentary." the worst 7 words of the day!! so its 2:03pm on saturday and i'm trying to watch player's basketball game. the mauraders are in northern iowa playing some team that wears purple. my brothers' school isn't showing the game, so i click on the opponents website and find that i can pay $9.95 to watch the game. i sign up. there's no sound despite the fact that i did the test video and there WAS sound. TURNS OUT there is a stupid disclosure that points out that there will be no audio commentary. so i'm watching a game with no sound. annoying. grrr. GRRR!! and i was meant to send an email to homie telling him all about the game because he left for his honeymoon today(!!). i'm really excited for them - i hope they enjoy it. they're in cabo.

so its in the 2nd half of the game and i have been so intent on actually LISTENING to the game that i have missed most of the video. i have been cruising through the uni website clicking on dozens of radio stations trying to find the game online. i just texted my mom and asked her to find the radio station there that is broadcasting the game. she texted back 1540, which i find online and had actually been on their website before. i go back. can't find the "listen now" button so i call the radio station to ask how to listen and the guy tells me they dont stream. they. don't. STREAM. can you believe that?? thats totally wild to me!

ok. its 20-37. we just hit a 3 to hopefully get back inthe game. its actually really hard to watch the game because they have this bar at the top of the screen showing the score and time left and it COVERS THE BASKETS. its really frustrating. i can tell when the other team scores because their cheerleaders jump up. but i can't tell when we score (granted, we're not doing a ton of it) until the scoreboard changes. grr.

so anyway, thats my day for today. i got up early and ran errands. ran home and showered then met bubby for brunch. now i'm "watching" the game and then a quick nap before i get up to clean my very very messy room. i have to head in to the office to get a lot done before i meet my friend gidget for dinner. then she is staying with me tonight and we are going to a movie. tomorrow i think we'll have brunch and then go to the mfa. tomorrow night - relaxation!

back to finish watching the game...

dream apartment - 46

it didn't even occur to me until i saw this post, but OBVIOUSLY a dream apartment would have a nightclub in it. with a full-time bartender and dj both on-call for whenever i wanted them. and it should very clearly have a hanging boat.

things that are making me happy

i LOVE movies. that is a given. and i LOVE old theaters, so this post made me really happy. i have a new goal: visit all of these old theaters. unfortunately, i don't have any plans to visit any of these cities/areas in the near-future, i will have to add all these places to the list. which place should i go to first? have you been to any of these? this one looks really cool.


i'm also sad they didn't include the fargo theater on here. it was built in 1929! thats old, man!

i'm adding that to my list and therefore i can cross off exactly one theatre. writing it in my planner now.

early winter

i love me some stories about north dakota. if you flew delta in october, you would've noticed the 20-page article on how great north dakota is. basically, the best place ever. i think i'm going to PDF the document and post it on here. its really cool. i didn't read it all, but thats because i already know it. and here is another boost for nodak (from in-forum, but they don't let you link unless you pay for it so i'm copying the text):

Published October 29 2010
North Dakota tops competitiveness list
By: Marino Eccher

A burgeoning budget surplus, a rock-bottom unemployment rate, short commutes and clean air: all reasons North Dakota leads the nation in economic competitiveness, according to a new report.

The study, released Monday by the Beacon Hill Institute at Suffolk University in Boston, ranked all 50 states on their ability to create and sustain income and growth.

In taking the top spot, North Dakota earned a smattering of No. 1 rankings in key economic categories. The state’s budget surplus, projected to be about $1 billion next year, is easily the nation’s best at a time when most states are facing shortfalls. Its 3 percent unemployment is the lowest in the nation by a comfortable margin.

The state also led the way in less-direct measurements of success: North Dakotans enjoy the shortest commutes (about 17 minutes, according to census data) and the highest air quality in the country.

Shane Goettle, commissioner of the state’s Department of Commerce, said those factors are important to maintaining worker happiness.

“Things that are in this report – short commutes, low crime rates, high air quality – all of these are things that factor into overall quality of life,” he said.

Goettle said the study validates the state’s economic approach. When he became commerce commissioner five years ago, North Dakota was ranked No. 5. It’s gained steadily since then, climbing one spot a year.

“To come out No. 1 reinforces what we’ve been doing in North Dakota to maintain a strong business climate,” he said.

North Dakota ranked highly in a number of categories tied to education, finishing in the top five in college enrollment, science and engineering graduate students, and academic research and development.

Philip Boudjouk, vice president for research, creative activities, and technology transfer at North Dakota State University, said a strong research and technology base is a must-have for economic success.

Boudjouk said about 75 percent of NDSU’s $100 million-plus in annual research expenditures are spent in the Fargo-Moorhead area, giving the local economy a considerable shot in the arm.

There’s still a lag between the state’s academic prowess and high-tech business sector: North Dakota ranks No. 3 in science and engineering degrees per capita but No. 42 in scientists and engineers in the labor force. And the state came in No. 3 in research and development but No. 24 in patents per capita.

Boudjouk said if the state continues to produce high-level intellectual talent, the business side will catch up.

“It’s about getting word to the private sector that there are these opportunities here,” he said.

the only thing to keep in mind is the really really cold winters. i only sometimes miss those.

[song by good ol' gwen]

november 2 - rock the vote!!

ok, i'll admit. i'm not voting today. i forgot to absentee ballot in north dakota and haven't registered in boston. so... do as i say and not as i do. here are some reasons from the huffpo on why you should vote blue and not red today. for full explanations read here.

1. You don't want a future of economic crashes and bubbles.
2. You want health insurance.
3. We cannot afford 2+ years of gridlock in Congress.
4. You want American education to get better.
5. You want the Internet to remain a free and level playing field.
6. You want leaders who aren't afraid to pass unpopular legislation when necessary.
7. You hate the deficit.
8. You care about the earth.
9. You don't want a future in which elections can be purchased by the highest bidder.
10. YOU WANT A JOB.
11. You believe that wealth does not trickle down from above; it flows upward.

are you voting today?? especially for my brothers in north dakota - please go vote!!

and as an aside, if you have 11 minutes, this video is EXCELLENT for explaining the credit crisis and what has happened in the past 10 years to the economy. it should help you understand and if not, ask me!

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

things that are making me happy

i'm starting a new series called "things that are making me happy" (stolen from npr, i admit) and the first installment is, and i readily admit it, the fact that i LOVE crappy vh1 television and celebreality. i haven't watched any in a very very long time. i think since summer 2009 - wild! thats almost a year and a half! its been so long that i missed i love money 3 (damn!) and its now in the middle of i love money 4 (missed half the season! crap!). (but don't worry - i'm catching up and watching all the new episodes going forward!) i had no idea all this was going on. and now brett michaels has a new show?! crap! i think i am going to decide to not commit to this show. that would be best for me. i would probably lose brain cells (and i can only spare so many!). but, anyway, i discovered that they had a follow up to the rock of love girls and where they are now. you can check it out here. i'm not going to bother figuring out how to put those videos in here (if i even can), so just click on the link.

sigh. its all about the simple pleasures in life.