i think a lot about alzeheimers and dementia because my grandmother has it. and so when i see an article about it, i read it. it often makes me sad or cry because it is such a horrible experience to watch your loved one slip away - and i'm not even around my grandmother that often! AND she tries really hard to keep herself together when i'm around (vs. when my mom or aunts are around her). so i figured i would take some time to educate my readers on this horrible disease
i can't seem to post the video here, but i can put a link, so check out this link for a video of a doctor explaining that alzeheimers isnt entirely genetically passed on. which means that probably anyone can get it, and that there are things you can do to prevent it.
this article is interesting because it talks about the fact that there arent a lot of good drugs to cure or help alzeheimers, but they are starting to find predictors and things that will help decrease the chance of getting alzeheimers. for example, getting a lot of exercise and getting enough vitamin d (neither of which i do, but i am inspired to work out at least a half hour each day until i leave for europe and TRY to get some more sun (but i'm pretty sure i'm allergic to it) which is one way to get vitamin d).
so the point is - take care of yourselves people!
a few weeks ago, i was talking to my grandma during one of our twice-weekly calls and she says to me: “its been raining a lot. I could take my soap outside and take all my clothes off and get clean.” it was pretty funny. i don't know why she thought that.
another day, my mom was at my grandma's house, but i didnt know that, and i called gma to talk to her, but my mom answered. she said they were watching justin bieber on ellen and all the girls were going crazy. my grandma said she couldn't understand why people went crazy like that and my mom pointed out that she had a crush on a country music star, who i had never heard of. so i look him up on wikipedia and he's in his mid-40s and it turns out his wife is 20 years older than him. we were all kind of surprised, but mostly surprised when my grandma said, “older women make better lovers. If you knew who he was, he’d be in your heart all the time."
i'm just sayin...
[Black Hole Sun from 1994 by soundgarden was on VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s and i thought it was appropriate for a ramble about mind games]
Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
i don't know why but i do
i was listening to this npr podcast and they had a segment about new alzeheimers information (this is the thing i was explaining to my mom while i was at the airport and mr. man listened in on my conversation and then COMMENTED on it). in case you can't/don't want to listen to it, i'll summarize it for you here:
basically, this neurologist in iowa or somewhere was hearing a lot of families of his alzeheimers patients say things like "i don't want to go visit [so-and-so] because what's the point? he/she doesn't remember that i've been there 10 minutes after i leave." and he started wondering - is that true?" do they really NOT remember? and does a visit have NO EFFECT on someone whose mind is disappearing? so he tested a group of alzeheimers patients... he had them watch a sad movie, e.g. forest gump and noticed that everyone reacted to the sadness of the movie - some to the point of crying. 10 minutes after the movie was over, most didn't remember even watching a movie, let alone that they cried. HOWEVER, they DID feel SAD. and they couldn't explain WHY they were sad. so, he tested the opposite. he had them watch feel-good movies like when harry met sally or a bill cosby special. and they laughed and smiled. and again, 10 min later, they didnt remember, BUT they felt HAPPY. and they couldn't remember why. SO, the point is this people: get off your asses and go visit your family who have alzeheimers - it MAKES A DIFFERENCE for them. and it should for you, too! doing things for others 1) makes you feel good and 2) gives you good will with the man upstairs (if you believe that). plus, the way i look at it - if *I* were in the same position - not remembering things or people, i know i would want people to come visit me. take my grandma, for example. she has beat all of the statistics of people with alzeheimers - she has lived with the disease much longer than expected, but she is starting to fade. i call her twice a week and she thinks that i call her every day. i'm not going to try and correct her (why make her feel bad?), BUT if she feels BETTER thinking i call her every day, then how does that hurt anyone? in fact, it makes me more willing to WANT to call her every day. and it doesnt have to be a half hour conversation. i just call and say "oh, i'm at work, i had this for lunch, i'm working on this project, the weather is sunny, etc." and she gets to gab for a bit and have 10 less minutes where she is sitting alone and her mind is playing tricks on her.
what is your experience with alzheimers?
[(i don't know why) but i do is a song on the forest gump soundtrack by clarence "frogman" henry]
basically, this neurologist in iowa or somewhere was hearing a lot of families of his alzeheimers patients say things like "i don't want to go visit [so-and-so] because what's the point? he/she doesn't remember that i've been there 10 minutes after i leave." and he started wondering - is that true?" do they really NOT remember? and does a visit have NO EFFECT on someone whose mind is disappearing? so he tested a group of alzeheimers patients... he had them watch a sad movie, e.g. forest gump and noticed that everyone reacted to the sadness of the movie - some to the point of crying. 10 minutes after the movie was over, most didn't remember even watching a movie, let alone that they cried. HOWEVER, they DID feel SAD. and they couldn't explain WHY they were sad. so, he tested the opposite. he had them watch feel-good movies like when harry met sally or a bill cosby special. and they laughed and smiled. and again, 10 min later, they didnt remember, BUT they felt HAPPY. and they couldn't remember why. SO, the point is this people: get off your asses and go visit your family who have alzeheimers - it MAKES A DIFFERENCE for them. and it should for you, too! doing things for others 1) makes you feel good and 2) gives you good will with the man upstairs (if you believe that). plus, the way i look at it - if *I* were in the same position - not remembering things or people, i know i would want people to come visit me. take my grandma, for example. she has beat all of the statistics of people with alzeheimers - she has lived with the disease much longer than expected, but she is starting to fade. i call her twice a week and she thinks that i call her every day. i'm not going to try and correct her (why make her feel bad?), BUT if she feels BETTER thinking i call her every day, then how does that hurt anyone? in fact, it makes me more willing to WANT to call her every day. and it doesnt have to be a half hour conversation. i just call and say "oh, i'm at work, i had this for lunch, i'm working on this project, the weather is sunny, etc." and she gets to gab for a bit and have 10 less minutes where she is sitting alone and her mind is playing tricks on her.
what is your experience with alzheimers?
[(i don't know why) but i do is a song on the forest gump soundtrack by clarence "frogman" henry]
Thursday, May 13, 2010
memories
so i thought that i would start a new series for your enjoyment (but mostly mine) recording stories from my grandma and great aunt who are both in decreasing health. my grandma just turned 78 and has alzheimer's/dementia (i can never keep the differences straight - she for sure has dementia and i think alzheimer's is a form of dementia and its believed that she has that). some days she does great - she's on-point and makes tons of jokes and doesn't repeat herself a lot. other days, not so much. she can't keep it straight what day of the week it is, the fact that she just told you 5 times that there was an earthquake in san diego (which was a few weeks ago, but she thinks it was yesterday), or she becomes paranoid that either nuns are coming into her apartment at night, drinking her alcohol, or someone is leaving her notes to scare her. i try to call my grandma at least twice a week (i have a calendar reminder set up on tuesdays and fridays to call right after days of our lives because i know she'll be awake and most likely somewhat lucid) and she now tells people that i call her every day. sometimes i do talk to her 3-4 times a week, but this isn't often - she doesn't know how to use call waiting, so sometimes when i call she doesnt answer (she's on the other line) and then i don't get an answering machine and sometimes i forget to call back.
i don't call my great aunt very often because its very difficult to hear her on the phone - she is 83 and has parkinsons. it is hard for her to walk, so she often doesn't get to the phone before it stops ringing. and when she does make it to the phone, she is so soft-spoken, that if there is any noise behind me, i cannot hear her.
both women have lost their husbands and live alone in (different) assisted living communities. a few weeks ago, i went to san diego with my grandma and mom and we saw my grandma's two younger brothers. they told me some fun stories that i thought would be great to record here because i think it's really important to learn from our elders and, well, quite frankly, i think the worst thing in the world is to be forgotten. and i dont want to forget my grandmother, great aunt, or have their stories forgotten. AND i think it might be helpful for others to see how dementia has affected the lives of my family. so... in that spirit, please welcome story number 1 from my grandmother...
the other day, i called my grandma and 1) she was SHOCKED that i am moving back to beantown. even though i have had this planned for 2 months and have told her many times. THEN she proceeded to call me "a brat." three times. i kid you not. here was part of our conversation:
and such is the mind of a woman with advanced dementia. they say that dementia is actually hardest for the people AROUND the person with dementia because the patient doesn't realize/remember that he/she is forgetful, repetitive, etc. which is sad, but at the same time, helpful. its certainly something to keep in mind.
have you any experience with alzeheimers or dementia?
["memories" is the instrumental song by harold faltermeyer from top gun. its played during the part after goose dies and they show maverick really upset about it. not used here to forecast death, but because i'm making my own memories...]
i don't call my great aunt very often because its very difficult to hear her on the phone - she is 83 and has parkinsons. it is hard for her to walk, so she often doesn't get to the phone before it stops ringing. and when she does make it to the phone, she is so soft-spoken, that if there is any noise behind me, i cannot hear her.
both women have lost their husbands and live alone in (different) assisted living communities. a few weeks ago, i went to san diego with my grandma and mom and we saw my grandma's two younger brothers. they told me some fun stories that i thought would be great to record here because i think it's really important to learn from our elders and, well, quite frankly, i think the worst thing in the world is to be forgotten. and i dont want to forget my grandmother, great aunt, or have their stories forgotten. AND i think it might be helpful for others to see how dementia has affected the lives of my family. so... in that spirit, please welcome story number 1 from my grandmother...
the other day, i called my grandma and 1) she was SHOCKED that i am moving back to beantown. even though i have had this planned for 2 months and have told her many times. THEN she proceeded to call me "a brat." three times. i kid you not. here was part of our conversation:
me: "hi, grandma, it's me." [except i really said my name, not "me"]just like that. a statement. i was a brat. so i asked why and she explained that she would worry about me and my unnecessarily making her worry makes me a brat. i tried to assuage her fears and told her that i was going to drive carefully, not drive a lot each day and would call her every day. she seemed to feel better about the decision. so we went back to talking about saturday.
gma: "hi there. how are you?"
me: "i'm fine, how are you?"
gma: "oh, i'm good. bored. not doing anything."
me: "oh yeah? did you just watch days of our lives?"
gma: "days? oh! i forgot!"
me: "oh really? i purposefully waited to call you because i thought you would be watching days of our lives."
gma: "oh yeah, i guess i forgot today. that happens sometimes."
me: "yeah, it's no big deal. so, it'll be a few days and i'll see you again!"
gma: "oh yeah? you're coming home?"
me: "yeah, i'm coming home on saturday and we're having a party for my going away."
gma: "you're going away?"
me: "yeah, i'm moving to boston."
gma: "what?! boston?!"
me: "yeah, i have a job and i'm moving in with a friend."
gma: "well, are you moving your stuff?"
me: "yeah, i've rented a moving truck and i'm driving it there."
gma: "you're driving it to boston?"
me: "yes"
gma: "by yourself?"
me: "yes"
gma: "you little BRAT."
me: "what?! grandma, did you just call me a brat??"
gma: "yes, i can't believe you're driving the truck by yourself. are you driving it yourself?"
me: "yes, i'm driving it myself."
gma: "well, you're a brat then."
gma: "so you're coming home?"...
me: "yes, i'm coming home on saturday."
gma: "what day is it?"
me: "today is tuesday. i'll be home this saturday."
gma: "you'll be home saturday?"
me: "yes, and we're having a party that night."
gma: "oh, i like parties."
me: "yeah, it'll be fun. we're gonna have sloppy joes and play whist and other board games."
gma: "are you having a party saturday night?"
and such is the mind of a woman with advanced dementia. they say that dementia is actually hardest for the people AROUND the person with dementia because the patient doesn't realize/remember that he/she is forgetful, repetitive, etc. which is sad, but at the same time, helpful. its certainly something to keep in mind.
have you any experience with alzeheimers or dementia?
["memories" is the instrumental song by harold faltermeyer from top gun. its played during the part after goose dies and they show maverick really upset about it. not used here to forecast death, but because i'm making my own memories...]
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
more travel adventures from san diego
ok. back again. on a flight. but no internet so this will go up later. thought i would write about my trip some more while its fresh in my mind. i think i was writing about how we had dinner almost every night with my grandma's extended family. it was good fun.
friday night, my mom and i met my grandma, my 2nd cousin and her husband and my great uncle and his wife at a seafood restaurant. for some reason, my grandma ordered salmon even though she doesnt like salmon, or any fish, for that matter. she complained about her food. i, personally, think she ordered it because my 2nd cousin's husband heard her mumbling about having a steak and he said "steak?! no! you can't have steak at a seafood restaurant! you should have fish." and my grandma said, "well, i dont know what to have" and he said "have salmon, salmon is great." of course, my grandma has no ability to reason to herself that she doesnt actually like seafood. so she ordered a salmon. and didn't eat it all. she ate some of it, of course, because you can't put food in front of her without her eating it (she forgets that she's eaten a lot and forgets what she does and doesnt like).
saturday, my 2nd cousin's husband took my mom and i out for a drive to see different areas of san diego (i previously briefly mentioned that). he kept complaining about all the homeless people we passed, or the people who sued the city because there was a big cross on top of a hill (what about the jews or the arabs or the atheists? the lawsuit mentions). he also lamented about how this woman had made a little beach for kids and now a bunch of seals have found the beach and want to live there (and thus the kids cant swim there). now there is a big controversy about seals vs. kids. i'm indifferent to all of it, and i honestly have no idea how he feels - he was just complaining that people were divided on the issue, i think. i dont know really. BUT i thought it was curious that when giving a tour, these were the things that were talked about. [oh, and as an aside, when we said goodbye, he said he would miss me the most! ha ha - i think he just likes to argue.]
after the tour, we met the same group of people for dinner again. we were going to go play bingo, which i was kind of looking forward to, but apparently it was too busy and we couldn't get a reservation (a reservation to play bingo?? apparently). so we ended up going to a mexican restaurant instead. my 2nd cousin's husband, who took us on the tour, complained about the restaurant we were going to. he was like, "this is like going to italy and having burgers" or something like that. curious, my mom and i looked up reviews of this restaurant online and we found one woman who gave it 5 stars (out of 5) and said "i live in minnesota and i love going to this restaurant each time i'm in san diego. it's great mexican food! it's like the red lobster of mexican food." ... yes. i kid you not. apparently red lobster is a high class joint in minnesohta. i, personally, enjoyed my tacos and we had a great server. my grandma said to her "bring me the bill" because my great uncle paid for dinner the previous night. the server didn't miss a beat and said "which bill? my internet or electricity?" my grandma didn't get it, she replied "i want to pay for dinner." which made the whole thing even funnier. the server just grabbed my grandma's shoulder and laughed as she said, "yes, of course!" again, my grandma didn't order food she would like. there wasn't enough gringo-y food on the menu, so i had my grandma order an enchilada. she ate part of it and a lot of rice and beans. so hard to please.
sunday, i coaxed my mom in to joining me in the pool. it was fun and felt great - LOVE heated pools! then we got ready and went shopping - i bought 3 pairs of shoes, which is stupid because i dont really have room in my suitcase for it, but i do love me some new shoes. we went to this place called venice pizza for dinner that night and it was the regular crowd - great uncle and his wife, 2nd cousin and her husband, gma, mom and i AND a whole bunch of additional people - another great uncle (who was diagnosed with parkinsons a few years ago, so he doesnt go out much) and his wife, one of their daughters, and another cousin (from the first great uncle). it was good fun and the pizza was delicious. i told my mom that if you werent from the area, and hadn't been going to it for years, you would probably just skip the place because its in a not-super-nice area and in a kind of non-descript building. we took lots of family photos - if you want any, let me know.
each night we were home by 9pm. oh, except saturday when we went to a movie - the joneses. it was really good! if its playing in your area, i def recommend it. but i'm not going to tell you a lot about it, because i think it would be even better if you dont know what its about. so just remember to see it (you can remember because it has to do with "keeping up with the joneses") and let me know what you think. (its very independent, so it might be hard to find)
monday we hung out on our own and went to torrey pines golf course to make my brothers and dad jealous (hehehe). we also went shopping downtown in the gaslampe district. i was actually really really disappointed in that area. i thought it would be really cutesy area with tons of boutique, independent shops. we found one or two, but the majority of the stores there were big chains - puma, vicky's secret, etc. i found a neat shop where i bought a bag and another one where i bought some necklaces and earrings. we had lunch and then took off. we watched dwts together and then split a burger in the hotel restaurant. it was a nice break from the big crowds.
that night, i woke up at 1am to find my mom in the bathroom using my laptop. she couldnt sleep. so she came back to bed and we watched tv for a bit and each used the computer. we were up until after 3am before both falling asleep again. oh, right, i forgot to mention that this WHOLE TIME i have been sick. i wake up with a hacking cough and a sore throat every morning. i'm trying not to cough on the plane so as not to spread my illness. this is the FIRST TIME i have been sick since i quit my job 2 years ago. its all about transportation, i tell you!
tuesday, i went swimming by myself for a bit. and get this, I GOT a HEAT RASH. in 65 degree san diego weather. yep. i kid you not. my chest was totally splotchy and i was nauseous. can you imagine me in africa?? i can't even handle southern california sprintime. after i recovered, we went to my great uncle's house and discovered that my grandma hadn't taken her medication for 2 or 3 days. when we pointed it out to her, she said, "i have NOT missed my medication!" no use arguing with her, but it explained why she didnt feel well. we went over to their house around 2pm and grandma was still in her house coat with her hair going every which way. i had a GREAT talk with my great uncle. i made a mini family tree and got the scoop on my ancestors. i'm related to this famous explorer from canada - he (peter warren dease) even has a wiki page! my great uncle is one of the nicest men i have ever meet - i have never heard him say a bad thing about anyone. i showed him videos of player playing basketball and all of the pictures that i had on my laptop. my grandma took a nap while we were there and then the 5 of us left for dinner at outback steakhouse - my first time ever at an outback. my mom's 3 cousins met us again and we had a good time. i got to know my two 2nd cousins a bit better. grandma was very silent at dinner because she had a headache, but she finally got some food she liked - a steak and potato. i asked her how her food was and she said "the steak is a bit tough." hard to please.
mom and i used a tomtom all weekend and we would've been dead in tijuana without it. it was great. i DEF suggest buying one and bringing it with you whenever you travel. i'm going to take my parents' with me on my trip to the east coast. and now i'm back to sac for a few weeks. more to come on the job front and my half-country drive a bit later... catch you on the flip side.
friday night, my mom and i met my grandma, my 2nd cousin and her husband and my great uncle and his wife at a seafood restaurant. for some reason, my grandma ordered salmon even though she doesnt like salmon, or any fish, for that matter. she complained about her food. i, personally, think she ordered it because my 2nd cousin's husband heard her mumbling about having a steak and he said "steak?! no! you can't have steak at a seafood restaurant! you should have fish." and my grandma said, "well, i dont know what to have" and he said "have salmon, salmon is great." of course, my grandma has no ability to reason to herself that she doesnt actually like seafood. so she ordered a salmon. and didn't eat it all. she ate some of it, of course, because you can't put food in front of her without her eating it (she forgets that she's eaten a lot and forgets what she does and doesnt like).
saturday, my 2nd cousin's husband took my mom and i out for a drive to see different areas of san diego (i previously briefly mentioned that). he kept complaining about all the homeless people we passed, or the people who sued the city because there was a big cross on top of a hill (what about the jews or the arabs or the atheists? the lawsuit mentions). he also lamented about how this woman had made a little beach for kids and now a bunch of seals have found the beach and want to live there (and thus the kids cant swim there). now there is a big controversy about seals vs. kids. i'm indifferent to all of it, and i honestly have no idea how he feels - he was just complaining that people were divided on the issue, i think. i dont know really. BUT i thought it was curious that when giving a tour, these were the things that were talked about. [oh, and as an aside, when we said goodbye, he said he would miss me the most! ha ha - i think he just likes to argue.]
after the tour, we met the same group of people for dinner again. we were going to go play bingo, which i was kind of looking forward to, but apparently it was too busy and we couldn't get a reservation (a reservation to play bingo?? apparently). so we ended up going to a mexican restaurant instead. my 2nd cousin's husband, who took us on the tour, complained about the restaurant we were going to. he was like, "this is like going to italy and having burgers" or something like that. curious, my mom and i looked up reviews of this restaurant online and we found one woman who gave it 5 stars (out of 5) and said "i live in minnesota and i love going to this restaurant each time i'm in san diego. it's great mexican food! it's like the red lobster of mexican food." ... yes. i kid you not. apparently red lobster is a high class joint in minnesohta. i, personally, enjoyed my tacos and we had a great server. my grandma said to her "bring me the bill" because my great uncle paid for dinner the previous night. the server didn't miss a beat and said "which bill? my internet or electricity?" my grandma didn't get it, she replied "i want to pay for dinner." which made the whole thing even funnier. the server just grabbed my grandma's shoulder and laughed as she said, "yes, of course!" again, my grandma didn't order food she would like. there wasn't enough gringo-y food on the menu, so i had my grandma order an enchilada. she ate part of it and a lot of rice and beans. so hard to please.
sunday, i coaxed my mom in to joining me in the pool. it was fun and felt great - LOVE heated pools! then we got ready and went shopping - i bought 3 pairs of shoes, which is stupid because i dont really have room in my suitcase for it, but i do love me some new shoes. we went to this place called venice pizza for dinner that night and it was the regular crowd - great uncle and his wife, 2nd cousin and her husband, gma, mom and i AND a whole bunch of additional people - another great uncle (who was diagnosed with parkinsons a few years ago, so he doesnt go out much) and his wife, one of their daughters, and another cousin (from the first great uncle). it was good fun and the pizza was delicious. i told my mom that if you werent from the area, and hadn't been going to it for years, you would probably just skip the place because its in a not-super-nice area and in a kind of non-descript building. we took lots of family photos - if you want any, let me know.
each night we were home by 9pm. oh, except saturday when we went to a movie - the joneses. it was really good! if its playing in your area, i def recommend it. but i'm not going to tell you a lot about it, because i think it would be even better if you dont know what its about. so just remember to see it (you can remember because it has to do with "keeping up with the joneses") and let me know what you think. (its very independent, so it might be hard to find)
monday we hung out on our own and went to torrey pines golf course to make my brothers and dad jealous (hehehe). we also went shopping downtown in the gaslampe district. i was actually really really disappointed in that area. i thought it would be really cutesy area with tons of boutique, independent shops. we found one or two, but the majority of the stores there were big chains - puma, vicky's secret, etc. i found a neat shop where i bought a bag and another one where i bought some necklaces and earrings. we had lunch and then took off. we watched dwts together and then split a burger in the hotel restaurant. it was a nice break from the big crowds.
that night, i woke up at 1am to find my mom in the bathroom using my laptop. she couldnt sleep. so she came back to bed and we watched tv for a bit and each used the computer. we were up until after 3am before both falling asleep again. oh, right, i forgot to mention that this WHOLE TIME i have been sick. i wake up with a hacking cough and a sore throat every morning. i'm trying not to cough on the plane so as not to spread my illness. this is the FIRST TIME i have been sick since i quit my job 2 years ago. its all about transportation, i tell you!
tuesday, i went swimming by myself for a bit. and get this, I GOT a HEAT RASH. in 65 degree san diego weather. yep. i kid you not. my chest was totally splotchy and i was nauseous. can you imagine me in africa?? i can't even handle southern california sprintime. after i recovered, we went to my great uncle's house and discovered that my grandma hadn't taken her medication for 2 or 3 days. when we pointed it out to her, she said, "i have NOT missed my medication!" no use arguing with her, but it explained why she didnt feel well. we went over to their house around 2pm and grandma was still in her house coat with her hair going every which way. i had a GREAT talk with my great uncle. i made a mini family tree and got the scoop on my ancestors. i'm related to this famous explorer from canada - he (peter warren dease) even has a wiki page! my great uncle is one of the nicest men i have ever meet - i have never heard him say a bad thing about anyone. i showed him videos of player playing basketball and all of the pictures that i had on my laptop. my grandma took a nap while we were there and then the 5 of us left for dinner at outback steakhouse - my first time ever at an outback. my mom's 3 cousins met us again and we had a good time. i got to know my two 2nd cousins a bit better. grandma was very silent at dinner because she had a headache, but she finally got some food she liked - a steak and potato. i asked her how her food was and she said "the steak is a bit tough." hard to please.
mom and i used a tomtom all weekend and we would've been dead in tijuana without it. it was great. i DEF suggest buying one and bringing it with you whenever you travel. i'm going to take my parents' with me on my trip to the east coast. and now i'm back to sac for a few weeks. more to come on the job front and my half-country drive a bit later... catch you on the flip side.
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