dear mr. man

woo hoo! this is a $10 blog post, fyi. i am writing to you (and then posting) from the sky above. i am currently on a flight from msp to smf (minneapolis to sacramento) and they have wifi on the plane! its not free, but since this is my first flight with wifi, i decided to buy it for the low price of 9.95. and also because i haven't written in quite a few days and i feel guilty about that.

i'm really excited about using the internet on my computer - the only problem is that my battery will wear out - i'm at 88% already (/only). this alone would make me take delta from fargo to sac anytime in the future (lately i've been flying united through denver so that i could get more united miles, but now i would TOTALLY change). alas, there are no more flights from fargo to sacramento in the foreseeable future.

so i was home for a few days because i found a really cheap flight online and have been increasingly bored on the weekends. it was a good weekend - i got in at midnight friday night. on saturday night, i went out with my brother and his friend and my parents. we went to listen to this band... oh crap, i was going to put their website here. let me see if i can find it (their business card is in my suitcase which is stowed above and i dont want to waste battery time looking for it). woo hoo! i found it. i'm so good. they're called the radio stars band. it was fun. my dad knows the first guy in the band, so we went to support them. i had a good time and paid for it sunday morning.

after recovering, i went mattress shopping with my mom. i decided to buy a bed in fargo and take it with me to boston instead of trying to get to a mattress store in boston (where i wont have a car) and paying higher prices there, higher sales tax, and not supporting a north dakota company. i got a really fancy mattress - i hope i like it! i'll pick it up once i get back to fargo in may. oh and i felt bad for the saleswoman. so that partially convinced me to buy from her. she explained that the mattress i was looking at came with a 60 day trial period. after she brought this up the third or fourth time, i explained that i wouldn't really do that because i was moving to boston. she seemed surprised. "oh, ok. well, you can take it with you" or something lame like that - yes, that is in fact what i was planning on doing. so my mom and i are laying (lying? i can never remember) on the beds and she walks away. later, she comes back and i explain that i'm interested in doing financing, but i wans't totally sure and i'd have to come back the next day to do it. she wasn't working on monday (not until wed) and said that i'd have to do it on sunday. i know i could've done it with someone else, but i dont like to switch sales people after they've already helped me. oh, and there was this thing about how they order on monday to be delivered on friday. so, i explain that i dont live in fargo and was leaving on tues. she asks where i live and i explain sacramento. then she seems really confused. why don't i have a bed in sacramento? and i'm bringing all my stuff from sac to fargo then going to boston? so i explain i'm homeless in sac and staying with a friend. and all my stuff is in fargo. it's overly complicated, i realize. BUT - i got a bed!

yesterday i worked from home and then made my brother feel guilty enough for being bad at communicating that he drove from his apartment all the way to my parents house (its annoyingly far - they should just move to north fargo already. :)). after going on a bike ride with my mom, i showered and when i came downstairs my brother, homie, surprised me by being there - zaz! that was cool. we celebrated his passing of an A+ certification test with some bubbly and pizza - great combination. after that, it was dwts with my parents and then they went to bed and i stayed up.

i was up early this morning (at 5) to get ready to head to the airport. again, i'm on a plane. its really cool. i'm easily entertained obviously.

and today has been weird from a flying standpoint. first, security. i have been through quite a many different airports in my life - i would probably guess at least 50 different ones (that may make an interesting post sometime - i'll have to write about that. good idea, d!) and i have long held that security is TOUGHEST at fargo's hector international airport (and yes, its an "international" airport because we fly to canada so stop right there with your thoughts...). i don't know if its the fact that people in fargo care about their jobs and take them seriously, the pay for security people is enough to sustain a decent life in fargo (even if its the same across the country - the cost of living in far is so much cheaper) and therefore the security people are happy and willing to do their jobs, people in fargo are typically law-abiding citizens, or they're just afraid of letting a terrorist get on a plane in fargo (most likely via canada - crossing the border in a car or something)... no matter what the reason, security is TOUGH in fargo. i can't tell you how many times i've had to open my luggage AT the check=in desk and show them whats in it. then, they actually look at your picture when you get to the security gate. then they are super strict about passing laptops, liquids, and other items through security. almost every time i fly, they have to rescan my bag - and they ALWAYS do it very professionally and politely. they politely explain "ma'am, i'm going to have to run your bag through again." and how often have they had to look at it after they've scanned it twice? multiple times. i must carry on funny items or something because it seems to happen to me more than other people. and it happened again today - the security guard asked me "do you have a 40 in your bag?" i gave him a blank stare because i was trying to translate - "did he really mean a 40 oz can of beer??" apparently he did. upon seeing my expression turn to the quizzican he said "or maybe a water bottle?" ahhh, yes. i did have a tin water bottle in my suitcase. i explained that i was empty and he politely said he'd need to take it out and scan the water bottle and suitcase separately just to make sure. but this makes me wonder - how many people are bringing 40s in their carryons?? and why did he think *I* would be one of them??? why was his first thought "40 ounces of beer" instead of "water bottle"???!! that was strange. i wish i had thought to say "honey, if i had a 40, i would've drank it as soon as i got up" or something witty like that that would make him laugh and remember me all day. but no. so the water bottle was empty and i was on my way.

the next weird thing happened when i was waiting to get ON the plane in fargo, standing in the jetway. this older woman says to me "going on a business trip?" and i explained that i was actually just visiting fargo and didn't live there. but it made me wonder - why did she assume i lived in fargo? and how did she know i was in "business" and not some other profession? was it my super fancy black and pink suitcase? my "suitcoat" with jeans outfit? maybe i just look like a smart business person. but it still made me wonder why i gave her that impression. not enough to ask, though. i typically avoid small talk conversations.

so i get to minneapolis and i'm walking to a new terminal and this guy tries to get me to sign up for the gold delta amex. i happily told him "i already have one!" (even though technically i dont bother to pay for "gold" and i just have the regular delta amex) there were 3 or 4 sales people standing in front of a table and i wonder why he singled me out. its obviously my classy appearance.

so then i get to my gate (G17, which if you know MSP, you know there are not enough seats at this gate). i move along a "fence" type thing - is that called a "rail" when its inside? rephrase: i move along this rail separating a completely empty chilis seating area and the gate seats and stopped torwards the end. this guy behind me, i *think* he looks at me and says "i'll move down next to you since there are no seats." i vaguely smile because i'm thinking... "he's with someone - there is a woman following him - AND i clearly have headphones on. they happen to not be playing anything, so i can hear him, but how does he know that??" i'm confused that he's trying to talk to me. well, i dont really know if he is, in fact. which confounds me more. so i pull out my phone and call my mom but since my headphones are stuck in my shirt (thats where i keep them when they're not in my ears - yep it looks like they're almost in my cleavage, but they're not) and the head phones are connected to my ipod and my ipod is in my bag, i kneel on the ground (again, there were no seats). my mom and i are chatting and i see this empty seat on the end of a row (i hate to sit in the MIDDLE of two people, so i prefer to kneel) so i say "mom, i gotta call you back!" and hang up. i throw the phone in my bag and start to assemble my purse, fancy black and pink rolly case and my grande soy no-water chai, and stand up. the seat is gone. the guy makes some comment, but i wasn't looking at him, so i dont know what he says, so i ignore it. he might've been talking to his companion. so i kneel again and call my mom back "there was an empty seat but i wasn't fast enough" i explain. so then i go on to tell her why i really called. i listened to this npr episode on alzeheimers (more to come on that in a different post) and she tells me how i am like my aunt b. so that makes me happy because i like my aunt b. THEN i see the same seat open up again - why are people not staying in this seat?? so i say "mom, hold on!" and throw the phone, in the middle of a call, in my bag. i assemble my things again and stand up and the seat is gone. the guy looks at me and says "i heard what you said about alzeheimers and i agree with you." i'm like, "umm... yeah..." feeling totally awkward because 1) my mom is still on the phone in my bag and 2) i HATE IT when people listen in to your conversations and then comment on them. oh and i dont really know how to make small talk. minor point. so i'm kind of standing there like, "... " i know he wants to talk, but i pull out my phone and kind of give him that "sorry, i'm on the phone look" and start talking to my mom again. THEN the seat opens AGAIN and this time i'm already ready, so i go grab it, all the while still on the phone with my mom. so i just completely DISSED this man who was trying to talk to me in a non-drageur way. sorry, mr. man.

so when i get on the plane from msp to smf, where i am currently as i write this, i sit in my aisle seat (slightly annoyed because no window seats were available and when i checked in online yesterday they had me in a MIDDLE seat which is just completely UNACCEPTABLE and the aisle seat is moderately better...) and dont put my seatbelt on or store my bag because i am expecting someone to come sit in the middle seat. there is a man in my window seat but i am starting to be ok with him. i can tell we're both anxiously watching all the other passengers board the plane, waiting for our seat mate. and guess where the ONE empty seat on the WHOLE plane is. thats right, peanuts! right next to ME! woo hoo. and because i feel bad for dissing mr. man earlier, i say to my one-seat-away-seatmate "i'm anxious for someone to come and sit here" and he said "yeah, me, too" so we make small talk of a total of about 36 words a piece and then no one sits here. its fanTASTIC. and now we aren't talking anymore, and i feel TOTALLY fine with it - i was polite and somewhat witty and neither of us feel uncomfortable now. i'm totally redeemed.

and with that, im going to post this so that the few people who are online can read it right away and give me pleasure for paying $9.95 to write this.

[song title by prince - good song]