my delirium

i awoke this morning before my alarm went off and heard the pounding of rain on our patio. i was elated! and, if you know anything about me, you know i

hate

the

rain.

except when i hear i'm only happy when it rains. but thats besides the point.


i was happy to hear the rain because 1) its effing hot out. its like 80+ and going to get to 100 today. and 2) hopefully my softball game will be rained out. don't get me wrong, i have been looking forward to embarrassing myself on the pitch, but they want me to play catcher and (as i said before) its going to be 100 degress today. thats hot. i mean, thats really really hot. i might die of exhaustion. or dehydration. or my fair skin might just burn and fall off. none of this is a pleasant picture. its 10;35 and no word on if the game is canceled. since i've written this, it probably means it wont be. damn it.


so last night i went to a meditation class and did not meditate. it really sucked! i could not quiet my mind. it was horrible. i felt disappointed with myself. shamed. and a waste of money! oh, and i was late for it - google maps told me the wrong place to go. that was annoying. i might have been the youngest person there, too. or wait. i am 30 now. i keep forgetting that. there might have been some people younger than me there. but i look so young i'm sure i LOOKED like i was the youngest. :)

this weekend will be busy for me. i think thats partially why i was so mentally stuffed up last night. i kept thinking "after this, i'll do this and don't forget to do that..." tonight is the softball game which would be FABULOUS if it was canceled (again, it wont be). presuming i survive the heat and balls flying at my face tonight, i plan to work tomorrow. after that i am going to the ICA for an event - open bar and some movie. should be fun. i'm missing a fundraiser at my house which i feel guilty about. but since i dont know anyone there... saturday is pride parade, which i am actually 100% bummed about missing BUT i planned to take my little to western mass to pick strawberries. and i can't reschedule for next weekend because i will be in montreal. tomorrow is roomie's birthday, so i can't take her then. i'm feeling ULTRA guilty about missing pride. ugh. no plans sat night but i wanted to play ticket to ride. can two people play? i wonder...

sun i have tennis and a workout class and i might attempt yoga. at the very least i have to prepare for higgi's birthday dinner and the week ahead. next week will be BORDEL because it will be super busy at work. sigh. so much going on! and i just want to relax and have a fun summer.

oops. started this a long time ago. need to post. just got an email from american red cross. they need o negative. i am. just made an appointment. go out and donate, people! give your blood away. does a body good.