presents to send you

i've been doing a lot of flying lately. which means i have been looking at the skymall magazine a lot. and i'm always intrigued by skymall magazines. they have such fun, useless stuff! who thinks up this stuff? and my mom keeps buggging me about what she should get me for my birthday. and now my friend in london is, too. which i don't really understand. since when are birthday gifts such a big deal?? but i dont really have a good answer on "what i want" for my birthday. i'm fortunate enough that if i want something, i usually just get it for myself. but, since my birthday is coming in T-11 days, i thought i would put some thoughts about the skymall magazine down for you. or them. or just to be fun. so here you go. birthday present ideas...

i'm flipping through the book and the first thing i see that i want is on pg 24 of the skymall magazine. and it's pretty effing fabulous. that's right: "the only underwater pogo stick." i mean, how many people have underwater pogo sticks?? my goal is rarely to look like or have the things that other people have. i think owning an underwater pogo stick would be a pretty distinctive thing to have. so that goes on the list.then that makes me realize i dont have a pool, or access to a pool, so how would i use my underwater pogo stick? so i look for a pool in the magazine and find this: "swim at home year-round, indoors or out!" i'm realizing that the skymall magazine doesn't really "title" their products - they have these weird catchy phrases that are supposed to tell you what the product is. so i want the "swim at home year-round, indoors or out!" if you can't tell, it's a wave pool - big enough for just one person, but the pool pushes the water at you so you can swim laps without going anywhere. this is aweSOME. except the fastlane is $5,900 and that's the cheapest. i think i would definitely want the supreme fastlane pool, which is $10,900. i dont know what the difference is, but thats the one i want. the supreme fastlane.the problem: its over $6,000.

but this gets me dreaming of my new apartment. which is kind of funny, now that i think about it. i'm already paying for it, but i don't live there quite yet. that's in T-16 days. is that 16? 24 minus today? i think so. anyway, this pool looks like its the perfect size to put in our garden outside. EXCEPT i have to take into account that boston is not northern california and i wouldn't be able to use the fastlane all year because boston gets a bit chilly. and the stupid skymall description doesn't say if the water is heated or not. so i think, then, that i'll put the pool in the dining room of my new apartment. that should give the whole place a great, clean, chlorine-smell. this gift is original, BUT it isn't cost efficient, so that's a bummer. gifts should also be a good mix between price (how much people spend) and how much enjoyment you'll get out of it. i'm not sure i'll get $10,000 of enjoyment out of my fastlane. maybe $9,000. but not 10.

so i think i should get something more practical. so i think this: the "skyrest travel pillow" because it says "this person is able to sleep comfortably in any seat! can you say the same? probably not, unless you have skyrest." and i don't have skyrest, so i can't say the same. and i am traveling more these days. and sleep is VERY important. but then i realize i'll just buy skyrest for myself - sleeping forward is the BEST way to go. so not on the list.then i figure out what i really, truly, want for my birthday (or as my friend, w, says: "birfday"): pg 68 of he skymall magazine, aptly titled "the greatest gift... is to help others help themselves." i would like to "learn to play the piano anytime, anywhere!" with the "roll-up electric piano." it's perfect! i have ALWAYS wanted to learn to play piano. when i was little, i used to look in the midweek newspaper at all the ads and show my mom whenever there was a piano on sale. and we had the perfect place for it to go in our house - right under the stairs. alas, we never got one. and i never got to buy those fun "learn to play piano" books. i need some of those, too. i am so serious about this.i can see it now: i'll learn to play piano, then i'll start writing songs, and i'll become a famous musician playing at the local seafood restaurant on friday nights. people will line up outside just to see me. it'll be fab-u-lous! so not only is this a great gift, its actually an investment in my future. just think of the earning potential!

thus, the perfect gift: not a lot of people have, portable, practical (but not in the i-would-buy-it-myself way), and an investment in my future!

[presents to send you is a song by jimmy buffett - used because he didn't sing a song called "presents to send me"]