ain't that a shame

today didn't really turn out the way i thought it would. which is... fine, i guess. i mean, no guess. fine. just fine. i just dislike how i'm not able to turn around from one plan and do the backup plan. at least today anyway.

i knew today would be busy at work, so i got there pretty early. and from the moment i walked in, it was go go go go. i was initially going to leave around 2:30 to go to san fran to visit a friend, but then she turned out not to be in san fran, so we rescheduled for wednesday in modesto. i know, big excitement. but its ok. it works out better for me, i think because today was so busy. then my next plan was, since i got there early, i would leave around 4 to beat traffic. well, i ended up being there until 4:40 which meant i got on the highway at 4:42 and boy! what a difference those 42 minutes make! i thought for sure there would be way more traffic, but there was TONS LESS. it was great. i sped home, stopped at the post office and entered my FREEZING bedroom. it was literally 60 degrees in here. my feet were freezing. i had to put the heater on and its MAY. thats sad.

i am not even sure how i spent the rest of my evening. i talked to my "roommates" and that was fun. but now its 9:31 and i don't know what happened to my night! i was going to finish packing, write a bunch, catch up on some reading, finish my friend's business plan, etc. LOTS of stuff! and NONE of it got done. shame, shame, shame.

oh and guess what happened at work today. i was getting up from sitting for a meeting - only 30 min or so in the boss's office and bam! down i fell. i just crumpled to the ground. it wasn't as if i tripped or hit myself and fell, i literally had NO FEELING in my leg. i tried standing up and i just fell again. my coworker had to help me up. i have no idea what happened. i couldn't put any pressure on my right leg. it wasn't even as if it was asleep - it wasn't tingly at all. and i dont remember putting any pressure on it or sitting oddly during the meeting. everyone outside of the office heard this big crash, so they all stood up to look in on me. i wasn't embarrassed so much as worried - what the heck happened?? it was as if i was one-legged, and had centered my body as if i had two legs (but didn't). my coworker walked back to my desk with me and i had to look down and make sure my right foot was flat on the ground before putting any pressure on it. i got back to my desk and was still talking to my coworker. i started typing an email and both of my hands were shaking. i don't know if it was from nerves or connected to my (lack of) leg.

i mentioned my fall to my mom and we were talking about it and she brought up that maybe i had a pinched nerve in my back (or a slipped disk?). back pain is scary. i just sat up straighter as i typed that. ha. anyway, then i was talking to my "roommates" and we were talking about how bad back pain is and having back surgery would be bad. so i brought up how i swam for over an hour on saturday and last night i did yoga (which i haven't done in quite some time). i was going to go to the gym and / or do yoga tonight, but after talking about straining my back a bit more (and reading about slipped disks online), i decided to take it easy. i also called to try and get a massage in before i leave this week... i haven't heard back, but that would be ni-ice to get a rub-down this week. wait. is that dirty? i dont mean it to be. you know what i mean. totally innocent.

well i'm off to bed. i resolve to get at least ... THREE worthwhile things done after work tomorrow. no more wasting days! be productive, be be productive!

[fats domino provides today's entry title because i am so shameful for not getting things done. i have this song thanks to the american graffiti soundtrack. check it out.]