Friday, April 17, 2009

welcome to the jungle

living here is like living in the jungle!

while eating my breakfast in the living room watching chelsea lately this morning, every few minutes i kept hearing this *thud* against the sliding glass door that leads from our dining room to the deck outside. i ignored it for a bit and then thought, "oh crap! what if my dad fell and had a stroke and is throwing things at the door??" so i jumped up and went to the door. i see nothing. i thought maybe it was some branch or cable blowing in the wind, but there was nothing around. i went back to chelsea. i hear the thuds again. it's one thud and then about 5-10 min between the next thud. i stand between the living room and dining room wondering if i am going crazy or maybe i'm overhearing some other loud thud on our neighbor's window or something. all of a sudden, i see it. there is a crazy bird flying straight at our glass door! a suicidal bird! i immediately call my friend, JaBootaay and laugh with him at this stupid stupid bird. i feel bad for it. why would it be trying to kill itself? and it's not like our glass door is spotless and can't see that its a door. its clean, but its not like in the commercials or anything. JaBootaay thinks that maybe the bird was drinking dangerous, infected flood water and i concur. then, while i'm on the phone with him, i see the setup. he sits on the ledge of the window to the garage. then he flies to the ledge of the deck, waits a few moments and then takes a flying charge at the door. the bird flys at me in the house! i yelped, which i think it heard and it barely hit the window and then flew up and landed on the cable in the back yard. i think i scared him away. suicidal birds make me wonder if there is such a thing as reincarnation.

the bird doesn't come back, so i tell JaBootaay about how my parents were noticing a lot of little tree branches in their front yard. they thought the trees might be sick and shedding their branches, so they called the city of fargo to come check out the trees. a tree doctor comes out and tells them that the trees are fine, just plagued with agressive squirrels. AGRESSIVE. SQUIRRELS. and i've seen those squirrels - they aren't afraid of humans. they'll stare at you and sit there and eat their acorns. there is no cure for an agressive squirrel.

after i get off the phone, i went outside to look for the bird. did he succeed in his dance with death against someone else's window? are there other birds around? is he lonely? maybe i can befriend him. what if i saw him flying toward the house again and i just opened the door? would he fly in? as i'm standing on the deck, i look back at the house. a-ha! its not a suicidal bird, just a DUMB bird. i think the bird sees straight through the house out the other windows to the front yard and sees trees out there. i think he's trying to get there. he's too dumb to fly around or over the house. poor birdie. maybe he finally found his way around.

this is not my first encounter with wildlife this week. every spring, it seems we have a bit of a ladybug problem. it's possible to see 4-5 different ladybugs in the house. i said to my mom, "aren't you worried about all the ladybugs??" and she replied, "do you think we're the only house in fargo with ladybug problems??" yeah, actually, i did. but i guess we're not. apparently ladybugs are happy in fargo or something. it's like rats in boston or spiders in berlin. they just get comfortable. and ladybugs are pretty, you know? and that was the name of the movie with jonathan brandis, so i like ladybugs. until this week.

i was getting in the shower and noticed two ladybugs on the ceiling above the shower (the bathroom seems to get the most ladybugs). i didn't think anything of it until i was standing in the shower, washing my hair when a ladybug flew on my face and landed on my lip. !!!! i started spitting, but it wasnt IN my mouth, so i was doing nothing. my hands were all soapy, so i just stood there shaking my head and spitting. i finally had to use my hand to flick it away and there it fell into the water and floated away in the drain. take that, attacking ladybug! don't mess with me! now whenever i see a ladybug i'm ready for a fight.

an hour later, i was in the kitchen doing the dishes when i heard the thud again. the bird was back. i went to the door and hid behind the curtains waiting to see. he threw himself against the door two more times before flying off. i have not heard him since. good luck, little birdy, good luck.

wait. i just heard a double thud. literally, just as i'm writing this.

he's baaack...


  1. wow that's really funny. we had that ladybug problem when i was in high school and i took a shower one day and went to school with one in my hair... kinda funny... kinda embarrassing..

  2. I'd like to point out that the deck door is indeed dirty......but I must defend myself. It has been winter here for a very long time and just recently has warmed enough that I could clean it. I'll add that to my weekend to do list!

  3. that bird is back. this morning I've seen him attack our door at least 10 times. I'm gonna get out my shotgun. Yeah, like I have a shotgun.

  4. subject: guns 'n' roses. which is appropriate with a shotgun comment...