oh, grandma

its friday night and 6pm. i'm still at work - no idea why - and so i thought to call grandma - again, no idea why. she sure was in a talkative mood! here are some gems from this week:

we were talking about how old she is and she said she looks so old. i argued with her because i have heard this story 100 times: she took the nursing home bus from where she lives to the mall and some guy said to her, "you don't look a day over 60!" she told me this again tonight, but added a part that i have never heard before: "god, i coulda crawled in the back seat with him!"

she claimed she was joking, but i started to get the hint that she's feeling a bit randy tonight because then she said, "at least when you get old you can get by with kissing a man!" i didn't know what she meant so i asked, "you can get by kissing a man?" and she replied, "well, yeah, if they think you're off your rocker!"

she was really obsessed with her age. "i'm only 80! wait. 80? that's damn old!" then a second later she said, "i'm gonna live as long as my mother - 95!" no comment.

she kept talking about how much she loved high school. "i had a lotta fun in high school!" she even named some of her old boyfriends (an anderson, hornung, etc). i said, "i bet you were pretty popular with the boys." and she likes to joke, but then be serious: "well of course! noo... well, i did have a date all the time, though."

then i brought up my grandpa and said something like "but then you met grandpa and wanted to be with him!" and she said, "all my friends were going to california and seattle to work. well, i didnt have any money to go, so i got married!"

we talked a bit about that and then i brought up her second husband, ron. she married him a few years after my grandpa died. i asked her if she dated ron when she was in high school and she said "no way! i woulda never been caught dead with him!" and we laughed because she ended up marrying him. she said her mom said "you better not say that, you'll end up marrying him!" and of course she did. but then she clarified, "i shoulda never married him. i didnt love him. i think i was just bored with life."

oh, grandma.