oh i just don't know where to begin...

my dad just called and pointed out that i havent blogged in a while (woops!) and i told him i was in the middle of this post (written words are below, but i was struggling for a beginning - thanks, dad!) and realized that i had gotten distracted and not finished. so here i am finishing.

today is monday, my favorite day of the week, and particularly favorite because its presidents day and therefore the office is closed. i came in to work anyway, to catch up on things and get organized for the week, so i'm taking a second out to start new years resolutions! err... mid-february resolutions! i'm not really into new years resolutions, but i feel like i need to start making some goals for myself and writing here is a good one. so i am making a goal to write at least 3 times a week for the next few weeks... AND i need to update my resume and find a job. i've been saying that i should do this for a while and its kind of becoming a joke with my family and friends. and i understand why. and honestly, its become a SAD joke. like, seriously, how hard is it to update a resume? to be honest, when i'm not in the process of looking for a job (read: actually employed), i'm pretty good about completing a project or getting a promotion or something and then actually updating my resume, mid-job, but thats because there is no actual PRESSURE to have a proper WOWING resume. and maybe a completed resume is better than none, even if its not WOWING, but... for some reason this is a really daunting task for me and i just can't seem to update 4 little bullet points. i think it has to do with the fact that 1) i actually need a job 2) there are LOTS of people who actually need jobs - and MANY in my industry and with more experience than me 3) i heard that you should update/change/format your resume for EVERY job you apply to - this seems like so. much. work. 4) i don't really know what i want to do and 5) its well documented that i am a procrastinator, so unless i am really feeling stressed about something or have a deadline, its hard for me to complete it. if someone said "d, if you get a job by the end of march, we'll give you a million dollars" then i'd probably put a little elbow grease in and actually find a job. wait. who am i kidding? a million dollars is hardly motivation for me... it just seems like such an unrealistic amount of money. like if someone really told me that, i'd just laugh at them and say "why not just GIVE me the money then i dont need a job?" but that would annoy me, as well. because i dont want to ever NOT work (ironic, i know, because i have basically been NOT working for 1.5 yrs). i like to work. no, i LOVE to work. i just prefer to work when i have a LOT of work. and i dont so much have a LOT of work to do, aside from blogging and looking for jobs. i need a real hobby. or something. does that make sense? get a hobby + less time = find a job. it does to me.

obviously, monday means a new post for me at mad tasty. check it out here. it's about vinegar and links to a very helpful article. i didnt write last week, but i did post at mad tasty last monday, so feel free to comment on that, one, too. or this one, rather. it's about eating by candlelight (in honor of valentine's day). speaking of which, what did you do for v-day? i have a friend, higgi, who boycotted it. and my brother homie doesnt celebrate it with his fiance.

i've never really celebrated it either, even when i had a boyfriend, and maybe back then i was anti-valentines day, but now i'm kind of like "eh, who cares?" either way. if you have someone special to love or be your valentine, then it can be fun, and if you dont - dont freak out. don't beat yourself up over not having a valentine. it seems really silly to me.

ok, i was going to go on more about vday, but i'm over it.

i've decided to start something new with my ramblings, i will now explain WHY i have chosen a song title for the blog post, rather than putting it in the comments section later. so today's title comes from an elvis costello song called "accidents will happen" because i honestly dont know where to begin with my job search. can't someone just GIVE me a job?? preferably paying $100k and in a city i love.... okthanksbye.