Thursday, April 9, 2009

i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world. made of plastic, its fantastic

one of the things i like to do with these ramblings is to give you, my loyal friends, a bit of insight into some of the stupider things i do on a daily basis. i do not mind making fun of myself, in fact, i rather enjoy it. for some reason, people (apparently) think i am somewhat intelligent. i have NO IDEA what i have done to make people think this. if i had to guess, i would say that its because i am often quiet and reflective, rather than a raging extroverted party girl. ok, i guess i did graduate 13th in my class of 300 (all 1-12ers had perfect As throughout high school - one B! damnit!). so graduating with honors and being quiet is why people don't think i am an idiot. well, i am here to tell you you're wrong. i do dumb things all the time. today was (unfortunately) no exception.

first, let me say this: when they prick your finger, it leaves a whole in the skin. second: they should put disclaimers on hot peppers. we've all heard the story about the boy who cut jalepeno peppers and then went to the bathroom and burned himself down there, and i have done my fair share of touching my eye and face and being scalded the rest of the night. he he ha ha. burning makes for funny fodder. i was prepared for this today when, after going to work, i stopped at the grocery store to pick up goodies to make my favorite food: fajitas. i picked up a jalepeno, habernero, and two serrano peppers. mmmm... i LOVE spicy food. the problem with today is that i had just donated plasma. before being allowed to donate, they have to make sure that you have enough iron in your system, same as when you donate blood. so they prick your finger and let it bleed onto this stick. if you aren't bleeding fast enough, they pinch your finger real hard to try to get the blood out faster. afterwards, you are required, by law, in fact, to wear a bandaid over the prick while you donate. i got home, and right before beginning to cook, i washed my hands and took off my bandaid. stupid stupid stupid. i cut the peppers, and for the next ... 7 hours and counting.... proceeded to feel excrutiating pain whenever i did anything with my thumb. you see, there was a miniscule hole in the skin into which hot pepper juice flowed and kept on flowing. i should've kept the bandaid on. coupled with touching my face a few times, and then taking out my contacts later this evening, i am feeling all hot and bothered. and not in the good way.

i'm not sure if the next thing is as poignant to anyone other than me... yesterday, i bought a set of 5 lb weights to lift ... that's it. to lift. they had two versions - one that was a fun purple, but with round sides and the other that was boring blue but with square sides. my mom and i decided to go with the square because (for me) you could do push ups using them (ha ha, yeah, right when have i ever done a push up?) and because (for her) they had these straps on them. this evening, my little brother, player, came home and the four of us were playing cards (including my dad) when we started "lifting" the weights. my mom says, "oh, look, the strap is removeable. i didn't know that." i was like, "yeah, i saw that" and my brother says "yeah, duh, so you can put the strap on other weights." here is a picture
after my brother's comment, i thought about it some more and realized my mistake. when i saw the sticker that says "removeable hand strap" i thought it meant that the blue sticker was removeable. i thought, "that's stupid, of course you can take a sticker off." it wasn't until my brother pointed it out that i realized the gray strap is removeable (along with the blue sticker, of course). ... that's all i have to say about that.

and finally, because i would rather tell you personally and for full disclosure, i had another dumb blonde moment today. in fairness to myself, if you dont know sports, you wouldnt know and i'm sharing this for all your sports enthusiasts. so, when player got home, my dad and he were talking about how excited they were for the masters to be on tv. i was like, "so what? its a golf game." my dad explained, "it's only on once a year!" so apparently this is a big deal. whoopie. my mom and i left to get a new dvr (zaz!!! now i dont have to complain about how much i hate baseball - i can record my own shows!) and run errands. when we got back, my brother and dad were down at the sportszone (omg. i just realized that there is a "z" in that word. i was wondering why, earlier tonight my other brother texted "at SZ with brother and father." i was thinking at the time, "what's the Z for? must be a typo." i'm really an idiot), a bar that was showing this IMPRESSIVE golf game in high def. when they came home, they were like, "can't wait to see the masters tomorrow." in protest i, of course, reply, "you said it was only on once a year!" this was next to the funniest thing anyone had ever said. they roared in laughter. "it's a tournament! it lasts 4 days!" how would i have known??

and with that, i bid you goodbye until next time when i embarrass myself again (probably tomorrow).

so what's your blonde moment?


  1. i think you looovvvve it when i come home so we can talk sports, sport, and more sports!!! :-)

  2. its true. i did subscribe to pti on itunes.

  3. i forgot to mention that i drank an expired beer yesterday, too.

  4. lol, you are so special! where did you get the boy burning his privates story?? That def happened to me a few years ago....pain for 4hours!

  5. expired beer is fine.


    how expired exactly?

  6. 2 years...?? my lips kind of burned. it wasn't until after i noticed the rust on the bottle top that my lips kept touching that i realized there might be something wrong. i'm alive, though...

  7. I'm hella impressed you drank expired beer.

  8. subject: i came up with this subject because barbie always gets a bad rap as being stupid. and some of the things i did here were stupid. and its poppy song by danish-norweigan group aqua. oh yeah.