Friday, April 24, 2009

da funk

just one of those days at work. everyone has them. maybe your boss yells at you or your committee member doesn't finish his or her project or your patient complains. or you just keep bleeding. it's been one of THOSE days for me.

i got up at 4:50 this morning to take my mom to work so i could have the car for when i go to work at 10:15. i was in bed until after 9 and called them to change my appointment to this afternoon, but with only two openings, they said that they were really full after lunch, so i decided to keep my 10:15 appointment. i didn't decide this until 9:30, though, so i had to rush to get ready. i stuffed food down my throat and guzzled as much water as i could in 20 minutes. i headed to the center and should've just KNOWN not to go in.

i arrived and everything was normal until i went back to the beds. i usually donate from my right arm, but there were no beds with a right arm next to the machine - they were all set up for left arms. so i sat down and said to the guy, "i usually do my right arm." he didn't seem to care, said he would check my left arm first. i'm no dummy. i can look down at my own arm and see that there is no visible vein on the inside of my left elbow (what is that area called??). he seems determined, though. josh, was his name. so josh puts the blood pressure cuff on and hands me a squishy ball to squeeze. he tells me to squeeze and hold. i squeeze and hold. and he's pushing down on my inner-elbow. he keeps pushing and probing and feeling for a vein. i keep telling him, "you can use my right arm - the vein is right there. see???" he ignores me. he wants that vein. by now, my arm has fallen asleep and i am afraid to let go over the ball. he keeps poking me with this pen to mark where the vein is. the vein apparently moves under the skin - i have about 12 hole marks. i try wiggling my fingers but there's no feeling. my hand is purple. he calls over some other guy, the only cute guy in the place, to see if he can use the vein. cute guy tells josh that there's a vein there. of course there's a vein there! i'm not veinless! so josh gets excited and puts the needle in. at first it feels fine - not great, but not the worst. he tells me that everything looks ok so far and he'll monitor me. i brought my laptop so JaBootaay can see me working so i get online and we google chat. and then the pain starts. normally, when they're taking the blood from you, you pump your fist and there are these lights on the side of the machine that tell you if you're pumping enough. with my right hand, i am always at 100% green lights. now i'm pumping as fast as i can and i don't even get ONE red light. it's like the machine isn't even working. i push through and finally get to the part where they give me the blood minus plasma back. it hurts so bad. i tell JaBootaay to hold on and keep trying to call josh over. he either doesn't see me or is ignoring me. guess which one i think. i gingerly touch the area around the needle and its swollen and sore. i tell JaBootaay that i have to go, there is something wrong. i hang up with him and finally get josh's attention. he comes over and isn't worried. he tells me to "hold on" and goes to get a supervisor. i'm in incredible pain. i wait and finally this GIRL comes over and says, "oh, she probably has a hematoma. you probably have a hematoma." ???!! she says, "do you mind if we use your other arm?" i explain thats the arm i usually use. so they take the needle out - PAIN - and go to use my other arm. now, if it were me, i'd be like, "sorry, i screwed up. take your 50 bucks and get out of here. come back next time. thanks for playing." but nooooo, they just HAD to take my stupid plasma. i tell you, its important plasma and they know it. so they wrap up my left arm and poke my right. things are better and uneventful. josh leaves and i wonder if he's embarrassed to see me or if he just got put on a different rotation. he did wrap this tiny little ice pack smaller than a roll of quarters on my "hematoma." when i finish, everyone is busy so i sit there a few minutes beeping away, waiting for someone to give me saline. what a day. stoooopid.

so i'm driving away with my TWO bum arms and i think, "this is fun. let me go show my mom!" who is pretty much like my only friend in town. so i stop at the hospital and go in to her unit. i like walking in there because all the patient's families look at you like, "why do you get to go back there? i'm just sitting here reading a stupid magazine." so i find her and i'm like, "hey! look at this!" and i put my two arms out so she can see they're wrapped. it's at that moment that i notice my right arm HAS NOT STOPPED BLEEDING. there is blood EVERYWHERE. i didn't even notice! its on the inside of my sweater and seeping through all my bandages. we go into the bathroom and she takes off my bandages. she is a nurse, afterall. so i wash up and the bleeding has now kind of stopped. she gives me new bandages and all these nurses come around to see whats going on. everyone agrees they should have let me go with my one bum arm. now i have two.

to make myself feel better, i go to get sushi for lunch. we won't talk about how i almost ran into a cop. talk about losing your good mood. so i get home and the sushi isn't that great. then i realize why. the MFers put mayonaise in the rolls. wtf! i would've said NO MAYO if i had known they were going to do that, but they have never done it before and its not on the roll description. another downer.

when my mom gets home, i'm sitting on the recliner with a candle holder propping my arm 12 inches in the air. she rolls her eyes. my arm is NOT comfortable, but i'm supposed to keep it higher than my heart. i rotate the ice packs on it and now its a pretty color of yellow, blue, purple and wine color. makes me want some wine. which would've been great with the sushi, but the sushi sucked. so i have no wine. and i had a tough day at work. and the sushi sucked. i'm going to bed.


  1. chin up d.e.
    next time can only be better

  2. you deserve a purple heart for being wounded in action...

  3. subject: homework is the name of the album that this daft punk song was released on