salsa is america's #1 condiment

why?
because people like to say "salsa"

so i have a question. what are the rules when it comes to chinese fortune cookies? i remember seeing once on seinfeld that you had to take the cookie to the right on the plate? or am i making that up? is that true? then who decides who chooses first? also, do you share them or not? i always believe in fully eating my fortune cookie before reading the fortune, but sometimes i glimpse a word and it makes me worried i'm not reading the actual fortune that was meant for me. and then, most importantly, if your family has left a few fortune cookies out after dinner and you eat them all, do you get all the fortunes? if so, here are mine:

• appreciate the caring people who surround you.
• you are cheerful and well-liked.
• you'll accomplish more later if you have a little fun this weekend.
• your critical insights can provide the stimulus for change.
• you have enough energy and enthusiasm for two people.

even adding "good in bed" to the end of these does not make the majority of them correct (do people really do that??). there are no people (unfortunately?) surrounding me in bed. if there are no people there, how can i be cheerful and well-liked? even out of bed, i don't think those are words people would use to describe me. i 100% believe the third comment and often take it to heart. i think the fourth one is president obama's fortune. and the last one. seriously, fortune cookie gods? really??