paradise by the dashboard light

This.
Is.
The.
LIFE.

It's an overcast day in southeastern germany, but as my train winds through the hills I don't notice that there is no sun. the mountains are scattered with snow and the elm trees have flakes of snow on their tops. the houses are picturesque german gingerbread houses. i think if i grew up here i would have thought i was grettle.

the train ride is incredibly comfortable and i thought i was in first class until i noticed the "2" on my door. this is indeed second class, but without someone sitting next to me, i have the room of a first class ride. i have a fruit cup and bottle of red wine and am watching dexter on my laptop while looking out the window at the countryside. i have never been one for landscape pictures, but this is very homey to me. i think it's the snow.

i'm on my way from berlin to munich. it wasn't sad for me to leave berlin - i know that i will be back. upon this realization, i started thinking about "when should i be sad?" because in theory, this has been a great two months and i should be sad to leave. i was not sad to leave boston. i wasn't sad to leave fargo when i went away to college. i wasn't sad to leave sacramento or new zealand. i think the only time i "should" have been sad was when i moved from france back to the US. i should've known that my life would not be the same as it was in reims and paris - easily the best time of my life so far. when i left france in december 2003, i dont remember exactly, but i think that i was slightly sad, but mostly anxious to get home for the holidays - move in to a new apartment in boston, get back on with my life with all of my things taken from out of storage. i wasn't that sad. six months later i went back to europe for 2 weeks and i do distinctly remember being teary eyed on the train back to paris on my way back to the states.

well, all of that is neither here nor there. i am on my way to munich!

Post Script. so dexter might not be the show to watch on a train - violence, vulgarity, nudity, but then i realized that it's germany. they dont care!

[Editors note: this was written on Friday, October 31, 2008 - Happy Halloween!]