where is my mind?

i haven't talked to grandma in over a week because i was traveling last week. i called her just now on my lunch break and we chatted for a long time. she is obsessed with having her grandkids married off. she is mostly concerned with my cousin, who is happily about to have her second child with her boyfriend, getting married before she has any more kids. i told grandma that it would be fun to have your kids IN your wedding and she said "well, thats not how we did it in my day, but who am i to say anything??" (after she talked to me about it for a half hour.) next up, she is convinced my little brother should marry his girlfriend. they've been dating since november. i'm going to have to keep track, but i'm pretty sure just about every conversation i have with her, she brings up player's girlfriend.

but today was a new one. oh wait. i need to back up. last night, i got a text from my mom:

"grandma said when you get married you will marry a doctor or a lwyer. no one else will be smart enough for you!" i love that my grandma thinks that if you're smart, you'll automatically become a doctor or a lawyer.

so back to today. she brings it up to me this time. i said "well, grandma, i'm not sure any doctor or lawyer would WANT to marry me." she instantly replied, "well ANYONE would LOVE to marry you!" [don't worry, i am completely understanding that this is not the case.] and then "your problem is you're just too fussy." solved! the mystery of d's singledom! i'm just too fussy.

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so i went back to look at some other draft rambles that i have saved and, it turns out, i have a bunch of them saved with quotations from grandma. i am just now remembering that she talks about me getting married quite a bit. here are some other gems:

me: "hi grandma! how are you doing today?"
gma: "I'm waiting for an invitation to your wedding"
me: "oh really? who should i marry?"
gma: "You wouldn't be satisfied with who I picked."
me: "really? what sort of guy would you pick?"
gma: "well, he'd have to have lots of money, handsome, tall, dark."

i have NO IDEA why my grandma thinks i need to marry a rich, dark man. i like the tall part, and handsome is subjective, but where does she come up with money and dark?? actually, now that i think about it... maybe grandma is on to something here. :)

the following is a direct quote of when she was telling me how she had passed out in the middle of the night in the bathroom and didn't know how she got there. [we think she was missing some / taking too much of her medication and it has been fixed now, so don't worry] direct quote from grandma rambling:
"I should get a little phone and carry it around with me. I don’t know if they have one, but if they do, I should get it and carry it around on my body. Yeah that was quite a shock: waking up and learning I was in the bathroom and I didn’t know how I had gotten there." [at this point i bring up something about her telling me she hadn't fallen.] "Oh yeah, i did not! I said I didn’t do that, but I did get a black eye. i thought, 'How’d I get in here? What am I doing?' So I hung on to the bathroom sink until I was sure I could walk." i told her i was happy she was feeling better and she instantly brought up my aunt on my dad's side (she is on my mom's side)
gma: "Is cherie still living?"
me: “yeah, cherie is alive.”
gma: "oh ok."
me: "Do you have your teeth in??"
gma: “yes I do! Well, I haven’t gotten the bottom ones in, just the top ones. Thos are the ones that matter."

oh, grandma.

[song "where is my mind" from the sucker punch soundtrack. weird movie, great soundtrack. check it out.]